I remember being a happy healthy kid. I remember liking school, loving my friends, loving my neighbours. I remember knowing who I was, liking who I was, having big expectations for myself. But everything is gone and I can't get it back.
What the hell happened? How did it even start? I think a lot of changes made my life not so pleasent anymore... And I feel like I have to scape it at every moment. And it's so hard to wake up in the morning. 'Cause every second you spend in your sleep seems like reality is forgotten. And when I open my eyes and have to face it I fall in tears. Why do we have to get up everyday anyways? Can't we just stay in bed when we feel we need to? It's so hard having to get up, get out and face people. Face people like nothing is wrong. When everything is wrong. But what is wrong? What the hell happened? Time has passed... And so things changed. I knew they would, but I thought they'd be different. I had all these dreams and expectations and all of a sudden I can't have them anymore. Time has passed. They make no sense anymore. But why do I feel like they do? Don't you get kind of mad when things don't work out the way you imagined? Don't you get stressed when everything seems so easy and so normal for other people while for you is something hard beyond impossible? What am I doing here anyway? Things mattered some time ago, but time has passed. Nothing matters anymore. The floor was ripped down from my feet. And I'm falling. I'm drowning... What the hell happened? Why the hell happened? But I'm not supposed to ask why. I have to accept everything and be strong. There's no choice here. And I have been... But it gets harder everytime. Harder than I ever imagined. And I know they can get worst. It hurts everyday, but it's only the beginning. It's only a matter of time.
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